


Interview with the Spies

by sodenoshirayuki_23



Category: Joker Game (Anime)
Genre: Humour, M/M, just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:56:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8048467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sodenoshirayuki_23/pseuds/sodenoshirayuki_23
Summary: A collection of interview sessions with the spies.





	1. So, tell me about yourself

**Author's Note:**

> Hi i know you had enough of me. I'm sorry not sorry. I just like writing about these spies. Thumbs up for the JG fandom! (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
> 
> This is just for fun. Not meant to being any harm to the spies/characters or to anyone/ any site. I just want to share this.
> 
> Probably my last fic for weeksssssssss bc school plays and projects lol so you won't see me for a while yay, I know you're happy-- *sobs*
> 
> Jokes aside, Enjoy!

_The room is big enough to have a huge, comfortable and soft couch for the guests to sit on. A round wooden table with exquisite carvings, and a plate of snacks. Two bottles of water is placed on it, one cold and one not, depending on the guest. There's also some vintage wine right beside the water, and a glass with ice._

 

Miyoshi is the first one to be interviewed. He sits on the center of the couch, with his legs crossed and hands over his chest.

 

 **Interviewer:** I see you don't act formal on an enclosed space such as this one?

 

Miyoshi brings his hand to cover his mouth as he chuckles, "I suppose, yes. There is no need."

 

 **Interviewer:** So, tell me about yourself.

 

"I'm beautiful." The spy nonchalantly answers. 

 

 **Interviewer:** \--Right. We know you're pretty. That's given. But--

 

"--That was what you expect me to say, hm?" Miyoshi's lips is quirk up into an amused grin. "I know I'm good looking but, I don't really rub it in other's faces all the time." He pauses, "I don't really know why some regard me as such."

 

 **Interviewer:** Is that so? Though surely you're regarded as the most skilled and experienced spy among others. Is that true?

 

He blinks his eyes a couple of times, and wasn't able to contain his laughter as he slightly shakes his head, slowly blinking his eyes that made the interviewer gulp a bit.

 

"Now, where did that come from?"

 

 **Interview:** I have my sources. 

 

Miyoshi nods in acknowledgement as he grabs the glass with ice and motions it to the interviewer. The latter just smiled and mouthed a "No, thanks". The former proceeds to open a bottle of wine and pour all of its contents onto the chalice. Everything he does seemed to be done gracefully.

 

 **Interviewer:** On other matter.

 

The spy raises an eyebrow as he drinks from his glass, a gesture the interviewer took as an encouragement to continue.

 

 **Interviewer:**  Which is which? Is it true that you and Sakuma-san occasionally fuck? Or you and Yuuki does the do whenever no one is around? 

 

Wine spluttered all over the air as Miyoshi spits all the contents of his drink. 

 

•••

 

Kaminaga taps his shoe on the floor, arms crossed and eyes looking around in amusement.

 

 **Interviewer:** Uh, sorry for the delay. Miyoshi-san's session took quite a while.

 

"It's okay." Kaminaga laughs, waving his arms in dismissal.

 

 **Interviewer:** So, tell me about yourself.

 

Kaminaga snorts right after hearing it, making the interviewer raise a confused eyebrow.

"That's always the first question, huh?" The spy tries to compose himself. "Right, right so.."

He snorts again before he can even continue.

 

 **Interviewer:** Uh, so you're regarded as  a playful, mischevous and a "meme" among the spies. Do you agree?

 

This time, Kaminaga raises an eyebrow, though his smile is still present. "Meme?"

 

 **Interviewer:** It means you're a joke. 

 

"Excuse me?"

 

••••

 

 **Interviewer:** So, tell me why your hands are always behind your head. Wouldn't it feel numb and ache if you do it all the time?

 

Hatano's eye furrowed in annoyance, "What?"

 

••••

 

 **Interviewer:** So, is it true that you're a sadist?

Jitsui tilts his head to a side, making sure he will say his next words in a cutesy and innocent voice.

"Do I look like a sadist?"

 **Interviewer:** Uh, yes. Honestly.

 

The spy giggles, "I like you, dear interviewer."

 

••••

 

 **Interviewer:** We can see that you have a passion in cooking. You like heating foods in your own quality time. Do you like heating Odagiri up too in your quality time together?

 

Fukumoto only blankly stares at the interviewer. 

 

••••

 

 **Interviewer:** So, Amari-san, you like children?

The spy lets out a soft laugh, "Not really like as in I'd like to have one, since you know what we do." He pauses, "But, if we are talking about personal things.. Then yes, I am fond of them."

 **Interviewer:** So, you're their daddy?

 

Amari's smile froze as he spoke, "Ahaha, that sounded quite not right.. "

 

••••

 

 **Interviewer:** So, when you joined D-agency, did you inwardly state, 'Conceal and Don't feel' but when you left, it changed to 'Let it go?'

 

Odagiri's confusion is evident on his whole being.

 

••••

 

 **Interviewer:**  You like pigeons.

Tazaki nods, his gentle smile plastered on his face as he gazes at the pigeon resting on his hand.

 

**Interviewer:**  So, there are accounts where you fucked with one?

 

The spy's head immediately snaps to the interviewer, that one could consider Tazaki has broken his neck on how fast the pace of the turning is. His eyes wide in disbelief from what he just heard.

 

 

••••

 

 **Interviewer:** So, Sakuma-san, what can you say about being the center of attraction among the spies? And also being paired with Miyoshi? There are millions of fanfics about you and him fucking.

 

Sakuma immediately stands up, "Nandato!?"

 

 **Interviewer:** Please calm down-- and you didn't have to say your catchphrase in this session too--

 

••••

 

 **Interviewer:** Lieutenant colonel, how do you handle eight hot, handsome and sexy spies everyday?

 

Yuuki's expression remained stoic, he refused to answer. That made the interviewer clear her throat and begin again.

 

 **Interviewer:** I meant, how do you handle the stress everyday?

 

Yuuki looks on the left, and on the right. Sure that no one is eavesdropping, he sighs heavily.

"Honestly, I don't. I'm in a lot of stress lately. It's like I'm fathering eight of them."

 

 **Interviewer:** I'd like that though.

 

Yuuki stares at the interviewer's phone which has a site named _"fanfics of our hearts"_ and then back to her face. 

 

"Are you sure you can do well what I do,  _< your name>_? I'd like to know what you did to the real interviewer."

 

 **Interviewer/You:** Shit. 

 


	2. I don't think...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The characters read fanmails and comments about them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL Last fic not last chapter c':
> 
> Another one!
> 
> Just for fun, no harm intended!

**Interviewer:** Here are some of the fanmails directed to you.

Kaminaga carefully reached out for the IFlyscreen tablet and his eyes scan to read some of the comments to him.

 **Interviewer:** Please read aloud some of the comments.

 

"Kaaaaminaga~! I want Tazaki to have your million sparkling children." Kaminaga only stares at the screen for a few minutes. Then he bites his lips as he forms a small awkward smile before handling the tablet back to the interviewer.

 

"Yeah, no." Kaminaga snorts, "That's not biologically possible."

 

 ••••

 

 **Interviewer:** Please read aloud some of the comments.

"I like your hair." Miyoshi chuckles, looking at the interviewer, "A fan likes my hair? I love my hair."

 **Interviewer:** Ya. Please continue reading.

"I wonder how messy it would be on bed once Sakuma fucks you for twenty-four hours."

Miyoshi keeps on a passive look, he proceeds to send a look at the interviewer.

 **Interviewer:**  Please go on.

"Kyaaaaa," Miyoshi's awkward (and sort of forced) grin started to appear whilst he tried to imitate a high pitch voice of a girl, "Miyoshi! Please fuck with Sakuma and bear him a child that's as beautiful as you!"

He doesn't say a word, but his face shows it. _"What is wrong with this person."_

With those things said, the spy's pupils travel downwards the screen, probably to read more. "Miyoshi! ‎How does a middle-aged dick feel when ya do it with your daddy?"

Miyoshi lowers his hold of the device, just enough to stare at the interviewer with the same smile. Yet one can say he now wears the, _"Can-you-believe-this?"_ look with one of his eyebrows raised. 

 

 ••••

 

"Hatano, do you know that you're always paired with Jitsui?" Hatano nonchalantly reads the message for him. He shrugs, not looking away from the tablet.

He continues, "To be honest, I'd pair you with Jean. Your head isn't the only thing that would get banged then af."

Hatano's lazy expression immediately changed into an annoyed one as he opens his lips to mouth at the interviewer,

"What-the-fuck-is-this?"

 

 **Interviewer:** Words cannot express my condolences to what you just saw.

 

••••

 

"Jitsui-chan! I know you're a sadist, but I want to know how Morishima Kunio acts in bed, please demonstrate!" The spy could only wear a kind smile, his eyes stuck on the screen as if thinking it over.

 

 **Interviewer:** You're seriously considering this, aren't you?

 

 ••••

 

"Amari-oto... san," Amari blinks at how he is addressed, but he continues reading, "... I'll be a good girl. So please adopt me too! I'd like to see something HUGE and WET other than dol...phins..."

The spy's voice trails off while he places the gadget on the table. Slowly bringing both of his palms to cover his mouth and nose, his eyes staring blankly at nothing.

 **Interviewer:** My deepest condolences to your mind and whole being, That came from a forty-year old grown man.

That was it, Amari almost fell off his chair.

 

••••

 

"Tazaki, I'm sure you know a lot about pigeons? I like pigeons." The spy's eyes shows interest as a soft smile appears on his lips. He continues to read,

"I'm certain Kaminaga have seen lots of birds already. But I'm sure he'd love to see the pigeons in your pants more! That pigeon will not go like 'coooooo' but 'cuuuuuum' soon."

 

Tazaki literally froze right then and there.

 **Interviewer:** Haha, Interesting... bird.

 

The man sends an unreadable look at the interviewer.

 

 **Interviewer:** \--Sorry.

 

••••

 

"Odagiri, Tobisaki Hiroyuki isn't your real name, it's Iya-chan.." Odagiri was taken aback since he absolutely have no idea who this Iya-chan is.

 

 **Interviewer:** Oh no, please continue reading.

Odagiri does so, "Because I'm sure it makes you go 'Iyaaaaa Iyaaaa' whenever I imagine Fukumoto enter you but tbh we all know you want it."

 

The spy wished he didn't comply to continue reading.

 

 ••••

 

"Fukumoto, So You're the master of disguise, huh? I wonder if you also disguise your way towards Odagiri's bed." The spy paused, not saying a word.

 

 **Interviewer:** I don't know too to be honest. You just seem good together so fans tend tooooo... Ya. 

 

 ••••

 

"Sakuma, you're such an innocent bear! I love youuu..." Sakuma paused, and then he puts the tablet down on the couch. He absentmindedly walks out of the room.

 

The interviewer stands up and reads it aloud.

 **Interviewer:** "... But are you really innocent? I bet you fuck Miyoshi to oblivion when no one is around. Lol."

 

 **Interviewer:** Oh my god.

 

••••

 

"Yuuki, I know you're tired of getting involved with daddy jokes. It's okay, you can still be gay with wolff. Together, you can be gay granddaddies. Now that's sexy."

The spymaster refused to read the last sound, _"Nnngh"._

 

 **Interviewer:** Sir? Yuuki-san?

 

"I'd like to know who sent that."

 

 **Interviewer:** But Sir--

 

"Now."

 

 

 ••••

 

**Bonus:**

 

Kaminaga reads the second comment for him. "I ship you with someone you wouldn't wanna know who. ‎[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°](http://knowyourmeme.com/photos/446266-lenny-face))."

The playboy imitates the face in the best way he can and then he laughs.

 

 **Interviewer:** Ooooh I wouldn't laugh if I were you. Scroll down more.

 

The spy snorts as he does so anyway, ".... I ship you with Lt. Colonel Ho...wards..."

 

Kaminaga's eyes widened, instantly throwing the device to the interviewer whilst he embraced himself tightly as he shivers.

 

"Why would you say that!?!?!?!"

**Author's Note:**

> Bye! Σ( ; w ;|||)


End file.
